Lovelies I have not been here in a while.
I feel like I failed my diet and my self. I don't feel good for some reason. I feel like complete shit. UGh I wanna throw up because I feel like I am a PIG..I can't do it again though since it has been years but oh my god people don't understand what I am feeling right now.
I hate that I don't do things perfect. If I fail I have to start all over and for some reason I am not letting myself start my diet over. If I do I will want to start "Monday" and that is not going to happen because I might purge or just starve myself. I can't let my ED come back to me because I will hit depression again and hurt me.
I don't feel like I have an ED right now , even though I think about it all the time. Maybe I do and I am in denial like I was years ago.
I hate feeling full though I love feeling hungry, to me it feels like I did something right and I am getting tinnier and tinnier.
I guess I need to just cry it out and let it go. But every time I see a big big big woman walking around here at work I feel like I am like that. I feel I am that huge and disgusting. That is why I don't eat in front of people I HATE IT!!!
Sorry for this but I need to let it out before I cry at work. I will update later
Much Luv and Stay Beautiful
Danii
just started following and caught up on your story . . . to me it seems your very brave. we all have setbacks and im sure a lot of us spend a lot of time feeling like little piggies!!! especially me today :). check by my blog if you can and follow, in the meantime take a deep breath and continue. you are strong and everything will fall into place xxx
ReplyDelete